Give (chick)peas a chance

Give (chick)peas a chance

I just came back from the holy land. It was my first time there and, quite frankly, I never really had a drive to go. It was a meaningful trip, and I had a great time with friends. But I did not see God, feel the heat of the burning bush, walk down the path Christ walked or anything like that. In fact, the only thing that was “holy” were my pockets from a bad euro exchange and my stomach from a bad hummus exchange.

Make no mistake, I support the fact that there is a Jewish state as a practical matter and the unfortunate reality that even in our modern day society there needs to be a safe haven. I even thought it was fascinating in many respects.

From a historical view (though I’m not a history buff), it was filled with stories and proof of how civilizations conquered each other; how the fight for fresh water did not start with Evian; how the church –whatever it was called – always went to the top of the hill; and the “pimp your cathedral” game was really foreshadowing Reagan’s materialism in the 80’s, simply swapping Basilicas for BMW’s. From a Biblical view (though I’m not an organized religion buff), it was filled with a bunch of stories about some pretty important stuff that happened there, even if I still choose to believe that Mary was not a virgin and Abraham didn’t really sacrifice a son. That being said, I do believe Herod knew how to party.

It was a land of separation instead of unity. Rather than being embraced in a blanket of freedom, there were constant reminders of where you should walk, who you should talk to, how you should dress, and who was allowed to do what and when they were allowed to do it. Making a left meant you were in the Arab quarter. Making a right meant you had to bow down to Jesus in his final resting place. Going straight meant you were headed for the Armenian quarter. Standing on the Golan Heights, one is reminded by bunkers that Syria, Lebanon and Jordan are staring at us every minute of the day. It was painfully quiet, though, as if this was a moment of rest between conflicts rather than at the end of them. Again, unfortunate, but a Middle East reality.

In some ways, the conflict between nations was not surprising to me. What was surprising was the conflict between people…specifically, the conflict within the Jews. With thousands of years of persecution as a historical proof point, it seems like complete idiocracy that we cannot even find peace within ourselves. The ultra orthodox think the modern orthodox are less important citizens, and that the secular Jews are not even Jews. Women have essentially no spiritual cred and (as a Father of girls) I think that is ridiculous. While some see Israel as the embodiment of the best of us, I also see it as what is the worst of us.

Taking a step back, one has to realize that if there is a God, active or not, and he has a master plan, don’t you think he would be pissed off at all the odd interpretations of the plan? In the end, proven by the 33 consecutive meals involving chickpeas, we are more alike than we are different. Yet the center of our differences is the lines of unproven faith that have been drawn by other humans. If there was an answer good enough for one people, wouldn’t it make sense to share it with all people?

Despite the fact that this post may offend people of all religions, don’t you think it is about time we dropped our claims of distinction and realize that we are all wrong in the quest of some to prove they are right? Let’s embrace what we have in common and give (chick)peas a chance.

Let the Dominos topple

Let the Dominos topple
Unless you live under a rock or are the one person left that does not have one of those less expensive flat screen TV’s, you have seen the latest campaign from Domino’s Pizza. You know, the ones that are basically calling their loyalists idiots over the last 20 years. If that does not ring a bell, these are the commercials that admitted their crust tasted like cardboard, their cheese tasted like ear wax and their sauce tasted like doodie – yes, I said doodie!

I must admit that my feelings on this effort have gone through a few phases. At first, the ‘up with ad guy’ in me, applauded the courage and bravado of the campaign. To address a real situation with real honesty? How noble. Then, the second phase of realization set in. That is, the most noble thing we can do for a living is not just create advertising that is just spoken about socially, but create work that drives sustained growth and success. This advertising was done for sake of social talk value and did not fully appreciate the risk they are putting the clients in. For those who freely Tweet that the ad business is about taking creative risks above all else, I now realize that your time to Tweet is directly linked to the time you may have in the unemployment line wondering what happened to the nobleness of our profession.

The idea of “new and improved” is not new by any stretch. We have always applauded products with even more Pow, Zets, Sparkle and other good stuff and, in each case, nobody doubted that the original products needed a change to stay competitive. Why must we dramatize the problem just to present a solution?

I will admit that the campaign and promotional price should inspire retrial, but at what cost? The Domino’s brand always existed despite a lack of quality. It was the favorite pizza to very few, but an acceptable alternative to many – in a pinch for time, cash or any other reason. After all, as our CSO (@CliffCourtney for the Tweet obsessed) once said, pizza is like sex. When it is good, it is really good. When it is bad, it is still pretty good.

Instead of being an alternative in the mix of a huge category, the campaign forces a sudden death situation. That is, over a new backing track called “Does it still taste like cardboard?”, people will try the pizza and be forced to make a final decision. As a test, utter the words ‘bathroom hand soap’ the next time you eat the ginger that sits next to your sushi. Now, does it taste like hand soap? (Seriously, try it – it is freaky.) If the new product is not significantly better than the competitors (which it isn’t), the brand will be dropped forever and their drop in market share will be even faster than it has been the last decade.

This is an unfair position to put a client in, as a $5 price point does not allow for the core ingredient quality of a Papa John’s or any local pizzeria for that matter. So, good advertising? Hard to say. Good business practice? Toppling dominos will soon tell.

What’s up with fakebucks?

What’s up with fakebucks?
I love Starbucks more than most people. In fact, I use it as my urban living room and social meeting place like many others. But c’mon, don’t you find that there are too many people trying to like it more than they actually do? After all, it shows the world that we can afford a 3 buck-something that would cost us 3 cents at home. Why must we fake it? Instead of a coffeehouse full of heart, it is becoming a QSR catering to people without real soul. Starbucks is becoming a social runway for the latest blue-tooth, laptop, mobile app wannabe. And the price of it all – really bitter coffee.

Have we forgotten the importance of an authentic vibe and a really great brew? The attached ad from Caribou Coffee is funny on the surface, but really reveals a sad truth. Hey Dude, I don’t really want to hear how you are going fire your investment advisor – I just want to enjoy a really good cup of coffee and find myself for the day ahead.

What’s Up with Brandformance?

What’s Up with Brandformance?
Where ever you turn, there is another financial minded stakeholder demanding there be more performance out of brands. This is not a post to dispute that. In fact, with the irresponsibility that runs rampant in the branding world, I think it about time more demands were placed on performance. Great work should also work great.

That said, nobody ever said that just because a brand is expected to perform on the financial stage does not mean it should not also perform on center stage. As an optimistic soul, I think there is always a way to do both. So, what do you get when you gather 6 out of work actors, a Queens grocery store and 16 pallets of melons? I see harmony, jazz hands and a “brandformance”…

Some see a silly skit. Others see what just might be the future of human touch marketing in an ever increasing, technologically simulated communications world. To me, I am just waiting for someone to order a venti latte and a sc-oh-oh-oh-ne at a Starbucks nearest me.