Daughter Math.

They say the greatest gift of all is to live with the perspective to appreciate blessings while you are still blessed. Barbara and I embrace this daily gift and never take it for granted. Regardless of what we may do, what we may earn or what we may have, our greatest asset is – and will always be – our party of five. That is, the moments we are together with our three daughters around a table – be it eating, talking, laughing or just living. It is our little nest in the world. Just like at a restaurant when the waiter asks you about dessert for the third time, we realize that our time at the table is limited. Here is a bit of “daughter math”:

We have 28 months before Emily and Carly go off to college and our core table is forever changed. That is a total of 840 days.

Let us immediately remove summer camp to reveal we are already down to 720. A few school related field trips get us to 690, a couple friend related road trips will get us to 680 and an occasional visit to the kids from camp get us to 660. Some East coast pre-college tours and our base to work with reaches 650.

This was the easy math. The balance gets more complicated.

Parents are simply not allowed on dates. With fair projection, that reduces us to 600 and further to 550 if you add in the sleeping late the next day and 500 if you add the roll over lunches with friends. There will easily be 50 sleepovers to bring us to 450. Even assuming good health, there are certain sick days that keep people apart. I subtract more to get us to 400.

Being realistic with school and work pressures, weekdays are 70% less valuable than weekends. That reduces the net value of days to 180. Lets face it, “lady cycle” days are out for Dads so I am reduced out of an additional 48 and we are down to 132.

We can limit prom dress shopping time if we commit to on-line purchasing, but that is more than offset by college essay writing days. Add in some “boys are stupid/heartbreak” days for Carly (and a few more for Emily) and I would say we are safely down to less than 100. Remove a very fair reality of them not wanting to spend every waking moment left with their parents and I think we may only have two Saturday night dinners and one more bagel lunch left as our party of five

Regardless of what time is left under our roof, our wish is to simply make their lives as wonderful as they have made ours. To help them gain compassion, to feel love, to embrace tolerance, to believe in themselves, to work for the change they wish to see and to always know that they are, in the end, our very best attempt at changing the world for the better.

(Don’t go.)

A Song For the World.

Every single day, there are blessings that appear before our eyes. My greatest wish for people is that they simply have the perspective to realize they are blessed while they still are – and that no measure of this precious life is taken for granted.

At the same time though, tragedies happen across the world at the very same pace. We watch in small windows of amazement as we see buildings fall, hurricanes pound, terrorists strike, Dictators act and even tsunamis crash. Because of the speed of communication and the clarity of HD, we have never been closer to what pains the world. Why then are we no closer to what heals it?

I would propose that in a world that measures data in zettabytes (yes, bigger than terabytes) and debt in quintillions (yes, more than trillions), the belief that a single voice can be heard above the noise has never been lower. Think about it, we sing out for Africa and there is still famine. We all share the philosophy of Livestrong, yet so many are still weakened by cancer. We text aid to Haiti and there appears no aid in sight. We’ve been giving to Jerry’s kids since I was a kid, yet the power chair business for people with MD is one of the growth areas of the healthcare business.

Perhaps it was my time with Up With People that taught me that everyone has a song for the world. It can certainly be a helping hand to those in need, but it can also just be talent, a concern or an expression of love that moves people. To face each other. To understanding each other. To take even a small step towards each other. Person to person, song to song, one to one.

One to one, we change the world by giving to another,
A helping hand along the way
A simple act of love is what changes are made of
So, one to one we change the world

Audio

Singing this song alone may not change the world, but why stop singing if it just might? Most likely, if you sing loud enough, others will hear it and be interested in singing along with you. That’s when all the little notes add up to a big difference – and blessed harmony can drown out any tragic melody that happens to be playing.

As I type this, my 10-year-old daughter is coincidently singing an old John Lennon song on karaoke in the other room. Regardless of the volume or what Simon would say if he heard it, I chose to believe that she is sharing her song for the world and I’m going to sing along. Join us and the world just might live as one…

What is your song for the world?

Don’t Yuck My Yum.

The clock struck 1/1/11.

What more evidence do we need that the way we live our lives gets to start over? We face fresh slates and new windows. In an instant, all of last year’s excuses related to the economy, lack of time, family pressure and “I’ll get to it later” are no longer valid. We have a somewhat blind sense of optimism and we begin living anew. All that said, unless you made the hard decisions to drive change for your life, nothing will really change. The pressure will soon mount, the weight will soon be gained, the time will soon evaporate, the money will soon be spent and the excuses will soon appear.

One of the most pressing issues is living the life one truly wants to live. To be someone who gets more from life through giving and to be the busy person who somehow finds the time to check more things off the wish list. We all seem to realize this, but lose the will to make a difference down the road. What holds us back from giving, doing, caring and being all we can be? Why does it take a resolution to get us going? With such procrastination, it’s no wonder our dreams take so long to become reality.

It doesn’t have to be this way. We should expect more. Why not start today? I am going to – and choose to use this forum to ask for accountability partners to help me along the way.

I am going to lose weight. Not the lose for half the year and gain back the other half. The lasting kind. I’m tired of stretchy pants and want to live as long as I can with the people I love.

I am going to be more present. I want to fully appreciate the blessings we have and always have the perspective to realize they are blessings.

I am going to live “off-line” more. Digital connectivity drives personal disconnection too often. I will be more aware of that (though still respond when Jordan calls!)

I am going to eliminate “should haves”. I intend to live even more as the role model I wish my kids to see me as, which is earned and not just gifted.

I am going to help the world move forward. There may be some big steps and some small steps, but no wasted steps.

I am going to not let anyone “yuck my yum.” I will have the will and attitude to make sure 2011 is the most prosperous year yet – in all senses of the word.

Happy New Year to all. I wish for you a fresh start on all you wish to be.

Cages or Wings?

We all get to choose how we live our lives. We all wake up each day and decide what we do, how we treat others and how we see the world. Some days my “Inner Uppie” thinks I can be Atlas to lift the world’s optimism while other days I can feel kicked in the head and as off center as anybody. It all comes down to perspective – a choice between cages or wings. Which do you prefer?

Those who choose wings are inspired with the freedom to fly. Those who choose cages are simply more comfortable with the stability of conformity. Neither is bad, but I cannot help but wonder if those who surround themselves with safe cages have ever really allowed themselves to fly. If so, and if they have experienced their full potential, how can anyone be satisfied with anything less ever again? If only birds could speak and share their wisdom, as they experience both.

Flying lets you realize that you are doing the very best you can. Flying lets you go places, see things and feel sensations that others can only dream of. Flying lets us see life through eyes of appreciation, not just comparison. People who fly seem to live their lives fearlessly – and always looking forward. I love that.

What are you waiting for? If it is for a person who will carry you up 34,000 feet, you will never soar. Every one of us can decide to fly right now. Why be the person who perpetuates darkness when you can add light to the world? Start with yourself. It will naturally spill over to your family, friends and whoever plays on your team.

Doing so will not likely create world peace today. Nor will it cure famine tomorrow or rebuild Haiti the next day or cap an oil leak by this weekend. It will not solve the unemployment crisis, the economic crisis, the AIDS crisis, the political crisis or any other crises that cages our society…at least not today. Yet it’s that kind of thinking and human energy that just might make all those things possible.

Cages feel safe, but they keep us still. Flying moves us all forward.

Spread your wings.

Up With Ad People

Category Archives: Peace & Love

Daughter Math.